Waking up Alone on Christmas
by LivBug1551
Summary: Everywhere I hear all kinds of Christmas cheer but its not for me since you have gone it seems that ill be left without a Christmas gift ill be spending Christmas all alone no one to wish me merry Christmas I wish that I could share that laughing everywhere I could hang up my best pose but I'm sure Santa knows ill be spending Christmas all alone I'm so blue because I'm missing you
1. Chapter 1

I did this once already but some people didn't like it so I fixed it up a bit

"I rolled over in bed to see the blinds to my window open and saw the snow falling and the bright New York sun shining through. I groaned and looked at the clock and saw the date, December 25. I quickly got up and ran to my mom and dad's room. I had screamed bloody murder at the sight of my parent's bed room..."

Her name is Natalia and this is her Christmas story and why it was the worst ever.

There was blood all over the walls and in the bed were her parents bodies, the bed was soaked in their blood, clumps of hair were on the floor, and photos and other items were thrown on the floor. Her mom's neck was sliced open and her eyes were wide open, her dads face was wrapped in plastic wrap and both their hands and legs were bound together by fishing wire.

*1 hour later*

Natalia was in the living room, police officers and paramedics were all over the house going in and out the front door, there was caution tape separating neighbors from the crime scene. She looked over towards the Christmas tree; presents surrounding it, she looked above the tree and saw the framed photo of her, her mom, and her dad taken earlier this week. She closed her eyes letting a tear fall as the police officer sat in front of her and told Natalia her name and her partners name. "I'm detective Olivia Benson and this is my partner Nick Amaro." Natalia didn't look up; she didn't want to, so without looking up she said, "I don't know what happened. I woke up so excited because it was Christmas... I went to get my mom and dad..." Natalia broke down and started crying and she couldn't stop. Olivia looked up at Nick then went and sat down next to Natalia and put an arm around her to comfort her, but Natalia pulled away and screamed, "No! Stop... please don't touch me.." Everybody looked at Natalia and Olivia then looked at Nick then to Natalia. "I'm sorry... I-I..." Natalia said looking down wrapping her arms around herself as more tears came.

Olivia just looked at Natalia and said, "Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine..."

"Do you have anyone else to stay with?" Nick asked

Natalia looked at Olivia for a second and Olivia saw fear in her eyes. Natalia looked down and shook her head "N-no... I don't..." Natalia rubbed her hand up and down on her shoulder still looking down.

"Are you sure? No aunt, uncle, grandparent? What about your father, your biological father?" Nick said

Natalia looked up at him quickly "who told you my mom remarried?"

"Your neighbor" Nick replied

Olivia looked at Natalia again and Natalia looked down "I can't stay with him."

"Why's that?" Olivia asked

"N-nothing... I just... I just don't want to live with him."

"Why don't you want to stay with your father?"

...

**_I'll update later once i get some reviews. Please review, this is my first time, I'd like to know how I did, please and thank you, until next time! _**


	2. Chapter 2

…"I just…" Natalia just kept staring at the ground when all of a sudden her mind flashed back to a horrifying event that had taken place 3 years ago when her mother and father had separated. It was Natalia's first time staying with her father since it.

*flash back*

Natalia was sitting on the couch watching True Blood in the living room of her father's new apartment. He was supposed to be home an hour ago, he promised Natalia he would. He stumbled though the door and Natalia looked over at him and said "Dad…"

He instantly looked at her and then headed to the kitchen, and she watched him as he stumbled almost falling, trying to get there. He looked through a draw to find duck tape and his hand cuffs *her dads a cop* He then stumbled to his room.

*later in the flashback* Natalia headed to her room and fell asleep. Her father goes into her room and quickly put a piece of duck tape over her mouth and then put the hand cuffs around her wrists. She tried to fight but he held her down and raped her, then beat her. After that he took the cuffs off of her and left. She cried herself to sleep that night, the next day her mom picked her up, but didn't notice the bruises. (She never told her mom or stepfather or anyone, and she hasn't seen her father since.)

*flashback ends*

"I-I…" Natalia's eyes started filling with tears and Olivia asked again "Why can't you stay with your father?"

Natalia says quietly almost a whisper "He raped me…"

Olivia and Nick both heard what she said and exchanged glances with each other.

Olivia said "When?"

"Three years ago…"

"Did your mom or stepdad know?" Asked Nick

"No… I didn't tell anyone… I haven't seen him since then."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I didn't want anyone to know… I tried to forget about it but I just couldn't. Every time I closed my eyes… There he was again on top of me… Inside of me..." Natalia tried to wipe the tears away but each time she did more would come. "I didn't want to tell because he was my father…"

"Natalia, he hurt you. He raped you. That's a serious crime, Natalia. What if he raped some other girl because you didn't tell?"

"It wouldn't be my fault… Don't tell me that he raped someone and try to blame it on me because I didn't tell anyone… It isn't my fault if he did… I just wanted to forget about it… About him, he's not my father anymore." Natalia looked up and finally made eye contact with Olivia and continued "John is my dad not him, John may not be my blood father but he's been there for me for the last 3 years and he hasn't hurt me either. _He _is my father." Natalia looked back down.

Nick was looking around and found a picture hidden inside of a book it was Natalia and her mother and another man in the photo on the back it said. "September 12, 2010 Natalia age 11, Jackson age 35 (father), and Cassie age 33 (mother)"

Nick was studying the picture and looked over at Natalia then back to her father in the picture, he couldn't see any resemblance between Natalia and her father in the picture. He set the picture down and decided not to bring it to Olivia's attention. Later that night Natalia was supposed to go to the precinct where Olivia was going to let her stay for the night. She was looking through a box of papers that her mother had. Natalia found a letter that had her name on it. She went to her room to finish packing her things for the night and put the letter in her bag, along with other photos of her, John, and her mom.

They finally got to the precinct and Olivia led Natalia to the cribs for her to lie down. Natalia sat down on a bed and Olivia left to go back to her desk. Once the door shut Natalia opened the letter and started reading it.

Dear Natalia, If your reading this it means I'm probably gone and I haven't yet told you something that I know I should have told you a long time ago I guess I just couldn't find the right time while I was with you. But...

**What was it that Cassie (Natalia's mother) needed to tell Natalia but couldn't find the right time while she was still alive?**

**Find out next chapter, please review, thank you, love you all, till next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear Natalia, If your reading this it means I'm probably gone and I haven't yet told you something that I know I should have told you a long time ago I guess I just couldn't find the right time while I was with you. But Jackson, the man I told you was your birth father; there was more than I ever told you. When I was 20 I was dating a man named Simon Marsden we had been dating and one we had sex, 9 months later, you came along, you were the most precious little baby in the world, Simon said you were his baby girl, his little angel sent from heaven just for him. But when you were one, Simon left. He said he didn't have the money to support me and you, he dropped out of our lives just like that, I never told you because I didn't want you to go looking for him and him disappoint you, I'm sorry. Remember, you'll always be my baby girl, my precious little angel sent straight from heaven just for me to make my life better; I love you forever and always- _

_Mommy, xoxoxo._

Natalia looked over the letter and read it over and over again. She got up and went to find Olivia. Natalia got to Olivia's desk and set the letter down in front of her. Olivia looked up at Natalia and said 'What's this?"

"Read it…"

Olivia read the letter and when she saw her brother's name _Simon Marsden _on it she couldn't believe. She set the letter down and looked at Natalia. "This was from your mother?"

Natalia nodded "I found it in her dresser while looking for pictures…"

Olivia stood up and said "I'll be right back"

Olivia picked up the letter and went to Captain Cragen office. She set the letter on his desk and said "Natalia just gave this to me… it's from her mother, it's about Simon…"

Cragen looked at Olivia after reading the letter "You think Simons her dad?"

"I don't know for sure, but I believe it, she looks just like him, the curly brown hair, same eye color, even smile."

Cragen nodded, "what are you going to do?"

Olivia looked at the ground "I don't know… first, I'm going to call him."

"That's a good start" Cragen replied. Olivia turned to leave.

"Olivia wait… Simon is your brother, so if Natalia is his daughter then she's your niece too. What's going to happen to her?" Cragen questioned.

"If she is my niece and he can't or doesn't want her… then I'll let her stay with me" Olivia said.


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia lend back in her chair unable to concentrate, she ran her fingers through her hair and pulled out her phone dialing Simon's number. The phone in Simon's pocket rang 2 times before he answered. "Liv?"

"Simon... We need to talk."

"Liv, everything okay?"

"Will you meet me somewhere tomorrow at 10?"

"Where at?"

"The Chipped Cup, on Broadway."

"Yea, okay, sure."

"Thanks Simon... See you there"

"Okay..."

"Bye, Simon"

"Bye, Liv" Olivia hung up and stood up putting her phone in her turned around meeting Natalia's tear stained cheeks. "Natalia"

"Was that...my dad?..." Natalia said already knowing the answer.

Olivia nodded "Yes"

"Do you know him well?"

"He's my... my half-brother"

"I want to go with you tomorrow..."

"Natalia, I don't think-"

"Please..." Natalia pleaded tears filling her eyes.

"Okay... you can go..." Olivia breathed out.

An hour later Natalia and Olivia had gone back to the cribs and Natalia got in one bed and Olivia got into the one next to her. Olivia had fallen asleep but Natalia couldn't she was listening to Olivia's soft snores as her mind drifted back to Simon's picture. She could see the resemblance between herself and Simon. She had the same curly dark brown hair as him and the same eye color. She even had the same smile as him. The next morning Natalia was asleep in the bed with her knees pulled up to her stomach and one of her hands tucked under her chin and the other under her pillow. She was snoring softly when Olivia came into get her at 9:45 am to leave. Natalia rolled over and stretched out opening her eyes and meeting Olivia's. Olivia greeted her by saying "Morning sleepy bug."

Natalia for the first time since Christmas smiled but then it faded thinking about how much she smiled like Simon. She slowly sat up, "What time is it?" She asked.

"15 till 10 came in to wake you up so you can get ready." Natalia stood up stretching her bones and muscles. She grabbed her bag from beside the bed and pulled out a pair of light distressed skinny blue jeans a white tank, tight white shirt, black and white varsity jacket with her initials, NM (Natalia Marie) on it, black and purple studded belt, and her purple vans. She looked at Olivia and Olivia stood up saying "I'll be at my desk when you're done." Natalia nodded and as soon as the door shut she got undressed and then dressed in the clean clothes. She put all of her stuff away and went down to find Olivia.

"Ready?" Olivia said as Natalia came up to her.

"Yea"

At _The Chipped Cup_

Olivia and Natalia were sitting in a booth on the same side Olivia was drinking some coffee and Natalia was staring at her cup of ice water. The bell rang signaling that someone just came in. Natalia looked up at the door and saw Simon come walking up to them.

She looked back down as he greeted Olivia with a hug, "hey Liv", He looked over at Natalia, "And who's this?" he smiled at Natalia.

Olivia sat back down and Simon sat down next to her. Olivia looked over at Natalia for a second.

"…She's my niece…"

Simon looked at Olivia confused, "What?" he asked.

"Simon, this is Natalia, her mom dated you back in '98. She's your daughter…"

Review please, I had it as Simon being the bad guy at first but a few didn't like it that way so I changed it to this, hope you like tell me if y'all have any sort of idea that'll go good with this story, please and thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

Simon looked at Olivia confused, "What?" he asked.

"Simon, this is Natalia, her mom dated you back in '98. She's your daughter…"

Simon stared at Natalia for a minute or two he was slowly seeing she looked like himself and her mother, who he remember very well. "Cassie?" he asked knowing that was her mom.

She nodded, "that's my mom… she never spoke about you… she never mentioned you being my dad, not one time… she said in a letter that the night I was born you said I was your baby girl, your precious little angel –"

"Sent from heaven just for me..." he finished looking down.

"Why did you leave?"

"…I –I had to, your mom didn't have the money to support me and you both, and I figured it'd be easier for her if I left… so she didn't have to support me, I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Natalia looked down "I was raped…" she blurted out and immediately wanted to take it back. Simon's eyes grew big as he heard her words.

"You were…raped?"

"Yes… after you left mom got another bf they got married and divorced when I was 11, it was my first time seeing him after that. He came home drunk and while I was sleeping came in my room and raped me… "

Simon's eyes dropped he felt as if it were his fault she was raped. He felt as if, if he were there instead of that man, then she wouldn't have gotten raped. "I'm so sorry…" he said…

They sat in silence for a while "Olivia…" Natalia began.

Olivia looked up "Yes?" she asked.

"Where am I going to go?" she asked her new aunt.

Olivia looked over to Simon, "Liv…" he shook his head "I've got no room, with Ty and baby Olivia… I'm sorry…"

"You can't make room?" Olivia asked, "She's your daughter, your blood, Simon."

Simon looked over to Natalia, his phone began ringing. After he finished the conversation with someone on his phone, he looked back at Natalia again, "I'm sorry, I have no room…" he looked to Olivia, "I've got to go…" He stood up grabbing his coat and left.

Natalia stared at her hands as Olivia spoke "I'm sorry, Natalia-"

"Am I going to go to a foster home since he doesn't want me?" Natalia asked looking at Olivia with tear filled eyes.

Olivia was silent for a second, "No, no you're not, you're my family, my niece, and I'm not going to let you go into a foster home. You can stay with me, I have an extra room".

Natalia looked up, "Really?" she asked, "You don't have to do that"

"Natalia, listen, you're my family, and family care for each other, I'm not letting you go into a foster home, cause if I did and you went into a bad foster home, I could never forgive myself for that, so, if you want to, you can stay with me, I would love for you to, Natalia." Olivia smiled at her niece.

"Thank you so much, I mean it" Natalia said as they began to get their things and go back to the precinct.

**The story will continue on at the precinct depending on home many reviews I get! So please review lol, tell me what you think, what you like, what you don't like, what you would like to have happen in the following chapter! Please and thank you all.**


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